July 22, 2010

UnReel Headline: Costa Ricans Hate Mel Gibson and They're Still not a State

Just Got Mel-ed

Mel Gibson owns a $25.8 million ranch that sprawls across 402 acres of Costa Rica’s Pacific Coast, but in the wake of the public release of those profanity-laced sexist, racist and derogatory rants secretly recorded by his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, it doesn’t sound as though he’ll be quite as welcome at his “vacation destination.”

Local residents of Nosara, Costa Rica have been quoted as saying they no longer want him infiltrating their happy little community...or at least until the heat dies down.
Unfortunately for the people of Nosara, no one has ever heard of them. And as for Costa Rica, it obvious that they are still angry that they have not been accepted as a state.

When asked of his reply to the community's requests, Gibson was quoted as saying "I'll put you in a fucking rose garden you cunt. You understand that? Because I'm capable of it."
When asked if he plans on returning to his beach-side home in Costa Rica, Mr. Gibson kindly replied, "What are you talking about you fucking ignorant bitch? I don't understand you. You're saying stupid shit!"

Since his home in Costa Rica is obviously a touchy subject, we decided to cancel the interview and instead show you this wonderful video of some of Mel's rants set to lovely music and cute pictures of kittens, puppies, and bunnies! Enjoy!


But in the mean time, the residents have even come up with their very own Mel-inspired terminology which is apparently spreading around the town like wildfire. “If something bad happens to you, it is called the ‘Gibson Wave’ (being a crappy wave) or if you hear ‘I just got Mel-ed’ it means that person just got upset or is really angry – the equivalent of someone going postal,” explained Tim Marsh, who co-owns the high-profile Safari Surf Camp in Nosara, Costa Rica, with his brother Tyler who used to care for the property now owned by Gibson. “I even hear that someone ‘had the Passion of Christ’ when describing an argument with another person.” Which I believe means that you were so mad that you beat them to a bloody pulp with whips and chains, spit on them, forced them to wear a crown of thorns, then made them carry a cross through the streets until you finally hung them from it by hammering their outer extremities with nails, then shoved a spear through their side, waited a few hundred years until you were nice and guilt ridden, then denied his existence.

It's funny, because it's witty! OH, Costa Rica, you silly bitch!

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