RObama
That's right! A robot Obama! Can you imagine how often that would come in handy? Whether it's trying to cut in line at the bank, get free food, or the uncanny ability to make remarkable promises and not fill them, the RObama is the perfect buy! And you don't even need a birth cert...errr...license to use it!
The Anti-Terrorism Device
With the constant threat of terrorism constantly looming, this device would not only offer defense, but also peace of mind! How does it work? I'm glad you asked! It's simple! It's simple advertising and marketing! We simply place fliers that replace the widely accepted "72 Virgins" concept with "72 reruns of Jersey Shores". Not only will self-sacrificing terrorists completely cease to exist, but the scientific breakthrough for eternal life would be available within days!
STK 500i
People buy stupid shit, simply because of the hype, or a cool name, or even because advertising tells them to (example: bottled water). So here is the STK 500i, so I can cash in on this marketing madness! What are its uses? Anti-Theft device, back scratching, unlimited phone calls and internet uses, eternal life (as seen in the middle east during the 72 Jersey Shores Reruns campaign), Lindsey Lohan Defense Device, Anti-Cuddle after Sex Machine, and much much more!
UnReel News will be holding a contest for the best inventions by the readers! Submit your ideas now, and have it featured in an upcoming article!
Submit all ideas via email to: justjd23@yahoo.com
