The Weekly Holiday: National Clown Week!

That's right folks, the first week in August is National Clown Week! So let's take this moment to remember some of the clowns throughout our history that have made us laugh...and cry...and cower in the corner...and ruined our childhood by pretending that they lost their puppy and offered free balloons and candy if I got into the creepy van and helped him and his friend find it...

So without further a due:

Pogo the Clown

(March 17, 1942 – May 10, 1994)

This wonderful clown brought joy to the hearts of many a children in the neighborhood, and many a hearts of children to the crawl space under his home!

Until he was arrested, he raped and murdered at least 33 young men and boys! (Balloon animals in the shape of my wiener anyone?)

But what really set Pogo apart from other clowns (besides the multiple rapes, molestations, and murders)? He created his own costumes and taught himself to do his own makeup, and even going as far as painting sharp corners at the edges of his mouth, contrary to the rounded borders that professional clowns normally employed, so as not to "frighten small children". Well what a nice and considerate clown! Not only does he care about helping children with sexual experiences, but he also doesn't want to scare them! Nothing says "Happy" like a friendly, non-child frightening, rapist murdering clown!

But let's move on, shall we?

Insane Clown Posse

Whether its entertaining their endless amount of fans in trailer parks around the world with horrible song concepts and meaninglessness lyrics that contain no breath control, horrible delivery, no presence, and little to no alliteration and pathetic rhymes or just simply being completely retarded, even gay clowns deserve a little attention during national clown week!

So here it is. Happy National Clown Week, you stupid waste of airwaves! Happy National Clown Week.

Klownzilla

And less we forget, the wonderful Klownzilla and his group of killer clowns from the 1988 American comedy horror movie, Killer Klowns from Outer Space. 

Nothing says "good time" like sadistic aliens resembling clowns descending from space in a circus tent spaceship to harvest the human race as sustenance armed with killer shadow puppets, bloodhound-like balloon animals and a ray gun that looks like a child's toy!

So next time you feel just a little creeped out about the local neighborhood clown, just remember, could be worse!