UnReel Headline: Where the F* Was Under Dog?

The world is changing, and need I say, not for the better. Around the world violence is breaking out, civilization is engulfed in poverty, governments thrive by their own greed, and corporate advertisement not only controls us, but defines us.

The headlines are riddled with evidence of our own destruction: Tom DeLay to serve three years in prison for his role in a scheme to illegally funnel corporate money, Wife of White House Adviser Found Dead in Burning Car, and the more recent The cloudy image of the gunman in Saturday's horrific shooting in Tucson is starting to come into focus.

But throughout all of the negative media, starving children in third world countries, and constant threats of terrorism, one question stands out above the rest.

Where the fuck was Under Dog?

I mean yes, there are plenty of other superheroes, but lets be honest with ourselves...Spiderman is still recovering from the 9/11 tragedy, I'm pretty sure that Superman is dead, that green hornet is busy being gay with Seth Rogen, and Batman is still struggling to figure out how the hell he went from looking like George Clooney to Christian Bale.

Which once again leaves us with the dopey K9 crusader, Under Dog.

UnReel News recently had a chance to sit down and speak with a close friend of Under Dog who wishes to remain anonymous, who assured us that Under Dog was fighting personal demons of his own. Yet recent photographs tell a completely different story...

Awesome. The world is in complete chaos, and our one and only chance at redemption is too busy humping legs, sniffing butt-holes, and eating dog poo.

Some animal rights activists may say we are each guilty of the direction our world is taking...but I beg to differ.

I recycled once, I told that homeless veteran dressed like Santa in front of Wal-Mart that I appreciate his service to this country, I told my Jewish friend that I believed he will go to Heaven when he dies even though that's a lie, I even told a girl I was talking to on Facebook that I totally agree that women should have equal rights and belong in the workplace instead of being at home cooking me some pie.

The point I'm trying to make is, we all have sacrifices to make. So while we each do our part, Under Dog sits aside licking his own private areas....

So every time you hear of a world tragedy, anytime you see death and destruction in the news, ask yourself: What have I done to help? And more importantly...Where the fuck was Under Dog?